The Rise of the Mechamon
"Just hand it over, lady!" The Team Rocket thug grunted, grabbing
the woman's arm and balling a fist threateningly.
"No! Wigglytuff is MINE, you beast!" Screamed the young woman.
She knew she shouldn't have cut through the park so late at night,
but she didn't think her pokemon would have to suffer for it. If
only there was some dashing hero who could come to her rescue...
Sounds like a cue? You bet.
"My... aren't we popular with the ladies?" Came a voice from above.
"Wha...? Who's there?" Asked the bandit.
The young woman took advantage of this distraction to stomp on the
thug's foot. He grunted in pain and backhanded the woman to the
ground.
"You dare hit a lady like that? You've made your final mistake!"
Called the voice.
A shadow descended from the trees.
Who could it be? ...Who else?
Ed Harris, in full battle-gear, landed and glared at the bandit.
"I dunno who you is, but ye're gonna get pounded!" Snarled the thug.
"Nidoran! Go!"
The male Nidoran appeared, growling menacingly. Harris chuckled
softly. "Nice Pet."
The thieve's eyes narrowed. "We'll show �im... Nidoran, charge!"
With a sudden burst of speed, the Nidoran rushed Harris. Smiling,
he calmly stepped out of the way. The Nidoran's eyes widened with
surprise as he slammed headlong into a tree.
"Toro!" Harris called triumphantly.
The Nidoran managed to pull his horn from the trunk and faced Harris
angrily. "Nidoran! Jump at �im!"
The Nidoran leaped at Harris, its deadly horn leading the way. Harris
didn't even flinch as two vines streaked from his backpack and entangled
Nidoran, stopping him barely inches from Harris' face. "Bellsprout...
toss!"
The vines flung the Nidoran away ...only to stick in the previous tree,
inches above the first hole.
"Nidoran! Return!" Bellowed the thug.
"Dat's it pal... just youse and me... and don't try no funny stuff,
neither."
"What? Like this?" Harris stuck out his tongue and pulled out his ears.
The bandit roared and charged... only to find his head denting the tree
that his Nidoran seemed so fond of. He was knocked out cold.
Suddenly, a device on the thug's belt blinked to life. "Arrg! You
imbecile! Come back!" A voice screeched.
The pokemon snatcher was suddenly bathed in a weird, crimson light...
and disappeared.
"What was that all about?" Harris wondered.
"Thank you so much! You saved me and my Wigglytuff!" Said the woman,
who sported an ugly bruise on her cheek. "My name is Alaine. How
can I repay you?"
"Oh... no need Ma'am. It's a hobby, really."
"Oh. Well? What can I call you?"
Harris wore a puzzled look. "Never really thought of that... just
call me a friend... But, if you'll excuse me..."
"I understand... Good luck with your, uh... hobby. You're a real
hero!"
Harris smiled. "You think so? Thanks!" And with a nod, he was gone,
floating away on Fearrow's wings.
* * * * *
"IMBECILE!" Roared the bald scientist. "I cannot even trust you for
ze zimplest jobs? You disappoint me, Buck!"
The thug sat there, in the Rocket laboratory, rubbing his head. "Awww,
c'mon Roger... she got saved by some guy, and..."
"NO EXCUSES! Ze boss expects results! And you are being beaten up by
ze imaginary monster men! HAH! In my day, we..."
Roger's babbling was cut off by a sudden sound. "Ring-ring-ring!
Phone call!"
"I vill demean you later!" Roger snarled, as he hit the button for
the phone.
"You'd better have something of worth to report this time." Growled
the impatient voice of Giovianni, the head of Team Rocket.
"Ack! Ze boss! Qvickely Buck, ze theme!"
"Oh yeah! Prepare for Trouble!"
"And make zat double!"
"To, uh, improve the technology of our nation..."
"To test it with experimentation!"
"To rule with an iron glove!"
"To expand science to zee stars above!"
"Buck!"
"Roger!"
"Team Rocket, ...uh, lashing out with mechanical might!"
"Surrender now, or face eternal night!"
"Mag...ne...ton" Buzzed the Magneton that was assigned to them.
"ENOUGH!" Shouted the boss. "Just give me your report and SHUT UP!"
"Ah! Boss! You've come at an exciting time... I have completed ze
machine I told you about! Ve vere just about to test it... and since
ve don't have enough time to catch a vild pokemon, ve vill use Buck's
Nidoran..."
"What? But Roger, what if..."
"Quiet, you fool!" Roger whispered hoarsely. "You do ze screwing up,
you pay ze prices!"
"Just get on with it." Said an impatient voice from the video screen.
"Alright zen, ve are ready. Now ven ve run ze machine, it uses ze
physical makeup to extrapolate ze..."
"English." Commanded Giovanni.
"Zorry, zir. Bazically, it makes ze robot clones." Roger said, hitting
the big green button marked �start'.
"Hmmm... clones. Can they be mass-produced.?"
"Oh, yes zir! And zey are inexpenzive as vell!" Said Roger triumphantly.
Ping!
"Ahhh... it is finished..." Roger said, opening the door. "Behold! Ze
vonders of science!"
There was a whirring of motors as two Nidorans exited the machine. One
was normal, but the other was a crude metal replica... which promptly fell
apart.
"Uhhh... zere are ztill ze bugs, but..."
A groan slipped from Giovanni's lips as held his head. "If you can get it
working properly, you can have any materials and supplies available. Just
don't fail me again."
With that, the screen darkened, and silence filled the room.
"Vell, Buck... looks like Team Rocket iz going back to ze drawing board."
* * * * *
"Hi Johnson." Harris stepped into the office.
"Harris... glad you came by." Officer Johnson looked nervous.
"You said I left some of my things here?" Said Harris, wondering
why Johnson called him down here.
"No actually. I bet you're wondering why you're really here. ...I
have a favor to ask."
"Such as?"
"You've moved into sort of a bad neighborhood..." Johnson paused,
searching for words.
"And?"
"Well... you're sort of closer to the streets than we are..."
"....And?"
"Well, we're looking for this guy, and, well...."
"Will you please get to the point?"
"Sorry. Have you seen this guy?" Johnson held up an artist's sketch.
"We've been going nuts trying to find him. He's wanted for questioning
and interfering in police business."
Harris held back a startled laugh. The man he'd worked with for over
ten years couldn't tell that the picture he held up was actually Harris
in his battle suit. "Um... Johnson? Can you keep a secret?" Harris
asked, and pulled his gauntlets from the duffel bag he carried with him.
"Aha! I knew it!" Exclaimed Johnson. "I was just afraid it was a relative
or something..."
Harris chuckled. "My family isn't like Jenny's. Promise me you won't
tell her or anyone else?"
"Sure thing, but you have some explaining to do. We've had several
people come in, claiming to have been rescued by some �miracle-man'.
Have you been doing any miracles lately?"
"No miracles, yet. It's a long story."
"I'm a civil servant. I've got time."
* * * * *
"Hah! It iz fixed! And you thought I could not do it!" Said Roger.
"Uh... boss, I'm over here. Put your glasses on." Said Buck.
Roger slipped on his oversized glasses. "AH!!! Vat did I do to ze toaster?"
* * * * *
Harris breathed in the night air as he soared low over the city. He loved
cruising at night... not just because that was when most of the trouble occurred.
The meeting with Johnson had gone well, he had not only promised to keep his
secret, but had also supplied him with a police radio, so he would if anything
big happened... But how could anything bad happen on a perfect night like this?
Was that a cue? Oh yeah.
Crrzzzztt! Crackled the radio. "All cars respond! The Pokemon Center is under
attack!"
Harris sighed. So much for a peaceful evening.
* * * * *
"Surrender now, or face eternal night!"
"Mag-ne-ton..."
"Stop this! This is a hospital, not a battlefield! You're disturbing my patients!"
Joy said angrily.
"Uh... clam up, lady, and hand over all your pokemon!" Growled Buck.
"NEVER!"
"Oh? Vell, ve'll zee about zat.... Mecha Charmander! Mecha Electabuzz! Mecha
Ekans! Mecha Dodrio! Mecha Beedrill! Mecha Pinser! Go!!!"
Joy screamed. The mechanical pokemon were hideous, crude versions of their former
selves. "Please! Keep those beasts away! I'll do whatever you want."
"Chansey..." Chansey whimpered, huddled in the corner.
"THIS IS THE POLICE! WE HAVE YOU SURROUNDED!" Boomed Jenny's voice,
bolstered by the magnifying effects of her Blastofone.
"Bah... annoying gnats." Grumbled Roger.
"COME OUT NOW! OR WE WILL BE REQUIRED TO USE FORCE!"
"Vell? Vat are you vaiting for? Fill zee bags with Pokemon!" Roger snapped at Joy.
"YOU'VE HAD YOUR CHANCE! WE'RE COMING IN!"
Joy finished filling Buck and Rogers bags just as Jenny and Johnson Burst in, pistols
at the ready.
"Ah! Zee bugs have come from under zeir rock? Squash zem!"
"Uhh... Get �im, Mecha Charmander!"
The robot squeaked forward, it's mouth hinge making a grating sound as it opened.
Jenny and Johnson hit the ground as the burst of flame shot towards them. Jenny rolled
to one knee, firing her pistol at the monstrosity. The bullets left slight dents,
but bounced off. "It's no good! We're in BIG trouble now!"
Another cue?
"I think I can even the odds a bit." A shadowy figure dropped from the rafters.
Johnson, startled called out, "It's Har... I mean, that guy we've been looking for!"
"Another annoyance? Deal vith zem, my pretties! Mecha Pokemon! Battle
program #206!"
The robots advanced. "Johnson, Jenny! Get to safety!" Harris yelled.
The mecha pokemon surrounded him cutting off escape. "Mecha Dodrio! Run
program!" Commanded Roger.
The robotic Dodrio charged, its two beaks thrusting forward. "Scyther! Claws!"
Barked Harris.
"Scyther!"
Harris ducked to the right as Dodrio charged, crossing both of his arms so that the
claws formed a scissor-like blade that roughly cut through Dodrio's right neck.
The head crashed to the floor with a thud. Like a flash, Harris was up again, and
the second head soon flew free.
Harris knew he was in trouble. There were five more of these monsters, and neither
Drowzee or Growlithe would be of any help. He had to depend on Scyther, Bellsprout,
Fearrow, and Snorlax.... and it seemed that his small victory had only served to make
that strange little man angry.
"ARRRG! You vill not vin zo easily! Mecha Electabuzz! Battle program #517!"
With a metallic snarl, the Electabuzz robot stamped forward. Energy crackled as it rose
its arms to fire an electric shock.
Boy, I'm glad Ash uncovered my weakness to electricity... my circuit breakers
should be able to hold out, but I don't want to test my luck! Thought Harris.
"Bellsprout! Escape rope!" Vines shot from his backpack, wrapped around the rafters
above, and hauled him up and out of the way just as the blast shot forward.
The electric blast, as fate would have it, was aimed directly at the mirror above the
front desk. Needless to say, Electabuzz was fried.
"No! No! It iz all going zo horribly wrong!" Roger screeched, hands gripping his head.
"Uhh, Roger, if dey're all getting moiderized one at a time, why not send �em all at
once?"
Roger was startled. "Now VHY didn't zink of zat? You can surprise people sometimes,
Buck."
"Uhh... Thanks, I think."
"Mecha Pokemon! Combined attack!"
Harris ducked as Mecha Beedrills thrusters flared into life and propelled the robot
towards him. Harris caught a bit of movement out of the corner of his eye, and
barely managed to raise a claw in time to spear the robotic Ekans that leapt towards
him. Flames burst into being around him, as the force of Mecha Charmanders
flamethrower attack smashed him into the wall. He collapsed, stunned, just in time
to duck the deadly spurs of Mecha Pinser, as it lodged itself in the wall, grasping
and flailing madly.
The light in the struggling Ekans eyes finally dimmed and went out, but Harris was
still in trouble. With a mighty heave, (along with a pulled muscle or two) Harris used
his legs to push the robot off of him. This is crazy! If I don't even the score,
I'm dead meat! He thought desperately... and rolled to the side to avoid the dive
of the metal Beedrill. Harris quickly examined the temporarily stuck Pinser, located
the power unit, and destroyed it. That left two robots... and where had those Team
Rocket goons gone? Wait... where was that Charmander?
Another cue?
The flames rolled over Harris as he dashed down the hall towards the top floor exit. He
had narrowly escaped being barbecued again, but the trailing Beedrill had him directly
in his sights... and was gaining fast. Harris took the stairs two at a time, but soon
heard the roar of the robots thrusters behind him. Thinking quickly, he shot out
Bellsprouts tentacles and stopped dead. Harris felt the jerk as Mecha Beedrill became
entangled... and crashed into the stairs, erupting in flame. However, that flame was
nothing compared to the one that was being channeled up the stairs.
* * * * *
"Qvickly, Buck! Ve must get to ze helicopter!"
"Uhhh, right behind �ya." Buck said, hefting the sacks full of pokeballs.
"STOP RIGHT THERE!" Jenny's voice echoed across the rooftop.
"Drop those pokeballs!" Commanded Johnson as they lowered their pistols in unison.
The helicopters blades began to rotate as Roger sneered. "Hah! Zo long,
flatted-foots!"
"NO!" Yelled Jenny, beginning to pull the trigger...
"Wait!" Cautioned Johnson "You might hurt the Pokemon!"
And then, a gout of flame blasted out of the stairwell, blinding them all.
* * * * *
Harris landed on the roof with a thud, scorched and singed all over. I've never had
such a hot night on the town. He thought grimly, rolling onto his back... only to
look up into the face of Mecha Charmander. The beasts metallic eyes pierced him as
he opened his mouth to spew forth... a spray of harmless sparks?
Harris managed a helpless chuckle. "What's the matter? Need a light?"
The helicopter began to hover above the ground. Roger stuck his head out the window.
"Aack! By all zat iz combustible! His gas lines are jammed! Pull up, qvickly!"
Harris stared up at the robot, realizing his peril. A bulge began to form in its neck.
Ready for a cliche? Here goes...
Harris scrambled to his feet, trying to get as far away as possible. "Get down! HE'S
GONNA BLOW!!!"
The explosion rocked the foundations of the Pokemon Center. Harris blacked out,
awakening to find himself falling...
* * * * *
"Hah hah! Ve've done it! Our prototypes vere a zuccess!" Roger blurted hysterically.
"Uhhh, but they was all destroyed... an' whot's dat?" Said Buck.
"NEVER interrupt me vhen I am zelebrating! Vhy, I have a mind to... VHAT?!!!"
The figure that flew beside them was burned almost to a crisp, but wore a mischievous
grin. "You gentlemen care to pull this vehicle over?"
The helicopter's side door slid open. "Uhh, Nidoran! Go!"
"Voltorb! Go!"
"Mag...ne...ton."
"Uh, guys, your Voltorb is flashing strangely." Harris said, snatching the bags of
pokeballs.
"Hah! Give zose back! I'm not falling for ZAT old trick!"
"Uhhhhhh, Roger?"
"VHAT?!!! ...Uh oh."
Harris dropped from the helicopter as he heard the words
"Volt...Orb..."
KABOOM!!!
Harris was flung downward by the blast, while the unfortunate Team Rocket soared
upwards...
Yet another cue?
"Ack!" Screeched Roger. "It zeems as zough Team Rocket iz blasting off
agaaaaaaain...!" Team Rocket was soon only a dot on the horizon.
* * * * *
Harris glanced skyward from the car that softened his fall. It still IS a
beautiful evening. A sigh escaped his lips as the police radio crackled
again.
* * * * *
"Yes Zir, Zank you, Zir. Roger, out." Roger turned from the monitor,
white-faced.
"Uhh, we did bad, didn't we."
"Yes, Buck. Ve really did do bad. If only ve knew ze zecret of vhat makes
him zo powerful... vhy, zen ve could crush him!"
We have time left for one more cue? Well, if you insist.
"Hey! Brainfarm!" Cassidy bellowed, banging on the laboratory door.
"Ve do not vant ze Brownie Cookies." Roger snapped after slamming the door in
her face.
"It's us, you idiot." Growled Butch.
Roger opened the door a crack. "Bah. Come in zen."
Butch and Cassidy stepped inside. "We thought we'd drop in... Raticate
found something you might be interested in." Cassidy said, hinting at the
plot to Harris' next adventure.
THE END
You can contact me at [email protected].
All this talk of things getting cooked is making me hungry...